Tuesday, April 16, 2013

God in my Garden

One of our goals this year was to grow some of our own food. To that end, my dear husband put in the loveliest raised bed garden a city girl could ask for. Two 4 by 8 foot raised beds, about 18 inches deep, stained lumber and complete with a custom irrigation system. I knew he couldn't do this in a small way. I seriously doubt we will be saving any money or even breaking even this growing season. That might be sad except this garden undertaking is about a lot more than tomatoes and beans.



 

Another goal, one I am reflecting on more and more lately, is to really get a grip on the idea of rest. Not sleep, I get that, but rest, relaxation and refueling. I hope gardening, whether my raised bed vegetable garden or the many pots of herbs and flowers gradually taking over our patio, will lend a hand in that arena.

This past weekend I had my first real visit to the garden since we planted. I needed to do something called "cultivating". This was a word I had heard and used in recent years. It is a biblical term as well as an agricultural one. I had heard it in homeschooling circles when referring to what we hoped to bring attention to and value in our children's educations and upbringing. We hoped to cultivate a love for certain things, skills in others and character qualities that honor God. Cultivating faithfulness comes to mind.

As I cultivated my garden, I just couldn't help but see my new plants with little faces, and hands, feet firmly planted in the soil. I spread some nasty smelling, albeit organic plant food all around the plants. I used a shiny new tool, a menacing claw like contraption, to break up and turn over the hard soil. I could almost hear the protests of the little seedlings, hands flailing in the air..."Hey, what's up with this...we were just fine, enjoying our day and now the ground is shaking, dirt is falling all over us, this is noisy and frightening and WHAT is that smell!?" I know I would be protesting similarly...and then it hit me. I do protest similarly when the ground beneath me shakes and feels crumbly, when the dirt is flying, noise swirls around and stinky stuff gets a little too close. I did not see, until this gardening chore became mine, the true value of such cultivation. By breaking up the soil, I made it easier for these new, tender plants to put down deep, strong roots. Allowing air and water to get where it needs to go rather than just running off will encourage growth as well. The smelly, rich fertilizer, mixed thoroughly into the soil, will make for more and better fruit down the road. How like life this is. Cultivating faithfulness or any other precious virtue may, at least for the short term, seem more like torture than training.

One more chore I got to practice for the first time was thinning. I didn't like this chore so much. The idea of removing some of the little sprouts to make room for things like carrots and beets to spread out and grow was kind of sad. The lesson I'm taking from that? Sometimes we may need to spread out a little, not be quite so close to those around us to cultivate some things we might not otherwise. I'm thinking about this a lot lately. I hope it's a lesson confined to beets and carrots.

Saturday, April 6, 2013

All things new...

It's been awhile. That's not the new part, sorry. I just get caught up in life, some of it is just sad and I don't want to blog about it. Other parts are great but I'm too busy enjoying them to stop and blog. I do get random requests, though, to get back to writing, so here goes...random thoughts seem the best way to catch up. I have some topical posts gestating quietly...for later.

-I still have no desire to do another marathon of any kind...I do, however, miss the exercise and time with a certain training buddy. We might just have to get back to that part.

-The grand babies are growing up so fast. I love doing things like picking strawberries, playing with the water table with them and remembering when my babies were that age. Every week brings something new and exciting.

-We have a new granddaughter, Hannah Kate! She is adorable and reminds me so of her sweet mommy!

- I love this Gigi thing!

-Some people are mean, or difficult or even impossible. No, that isn't news, really, but that I am still surprised and sad and think I can make things better, well, that's a little new. I am learning that lots of things are just outside of my control and I just can't do it all. A new and special person in my life went to great lengths to explain that to me last weekend. I take enormous comfort in the fact that God is big.

-I have a new job. My other job came to an end when the company owners decided to shut down the business. God gave me a wonderful job in a really short time frame. I appreciate that because job hunting is hard work and maybe even a little intimidating.

-I really like my new job. I am learning so much every day. That might even be more intimidating than the job hunt was. I get to work in a health care setting (and I even get to wear scrubs!) and that was my dream all along. My hours are a lot longer and I don't get to slow down much but I really feel good about how I spent my day when I clock out.

-I love wearing scrubs to work! I might be a little obsessed and need to reevaluate my scrubs budget. I may or may not buy a new set nearly every pay day. And I iron them, something I'm told is silly.

-Some days it is all I can do to stay awake until bedtime! It is that exhausting. I spend most of Saturdays cleaning, grocery shopping, getting our clothes ready for the week. I have not quite mastered the art of rest, not just sleep, but rest and refreshment and rejuvenation. I am working on it.

-My girls strapped on their babies and totally cleaned my house for Easter weekend guests. I can't think of how they could have blessed me more. Then we were able to just sit and enjoy one another's company for a couple of hours.

-My wonderful husband has been such a help as he is off on several of my workdays. He tries to prepare dinner sometimes, he keeps the house clean, does some laundry and takes care of all those tasks I can't really do since I am gone all day. He gets the dog groomed, meets the carpet cleaning people, gets the oil changed and pretty much anything else I ask him. He's my rock star!

-He put in a wonderful garden for me, and wrought iron fencing around our patio so the babies won't fall off. What fun we are having outside!

-It is an adjustment being gone this much. I miss my kids and my grand babies. I am working hard to find times to be with them, at least the ones who are interested. Sometimes I just call or text and ask to meet them somewhere. Even an hour is precious.

-I love "talking shop" with my oldest who is also in health care, miles above me, and has been praying for me to have a job like this for years. He is so encouraging and gives great advice.

-I love that hubby and I are working together toward goals that will make later better and working hard to enjoy the now while we do it.

-We are leading a new Young Married small group. Have I mentioned how we love young married couples? Oldest daughter and her beloved are a part of our group. Another sweet blessing.

-Our baby boy is getting married in July. I am helping to plan the wedding. Some days that is lots of fun, others I wonder what I was thinking when I agreed to this. I had a different life then, a different job. They are a fun couple, we love his intended and it will be a beautiful and very unique day. I have mixed feelings about marking that off my list. Where have the years gone.?

-I began to get impatient the other day, maybe in traffic, or a line at the grocery store. Then it occurred to me that I am just simply too old for that. By my age I should have mastered patience just a little bit better than my attitude revealed. Now I say that to myself on a regular basis. "Girl, you are too old to be impatient!" The voice in my head sounds a lot like my mother's.

-I was encouraging my sweet daughters recently. I was urging them not to get in too much of a hurry to get to the next stage of their lives but to be "all in" whatever they were doing at the moment. They are already so good about that, but these days are so precious and fleeting and before they know it their babies will be ready for school, or driving or dating or college or...then it hit me, I need to be "all in" at 53! I need to be completely given to whatever I am doing or whoever I am with, not always thinking ahead to the next thing, or the weekend or next month. I want to be completely engaged and present with my husband, my children, my co-workers or our patients. I want to give my best, my all to whatever I am doing.

-We were shocked and saddened to lose two family members in the last three months or so. One of Bill's brothers died suddenly followed by a sister-in-law. They were both way too young. It is sobering. We are reminded that none of knows when our life here will end. We are being purposeful, even more than we had been, to make each day count, as if it were the last. We are taking steps to be as prepared for our transitions to Heaven as we can.  We are being more careful to hug a little longer, each of our precious loved ones; to remember to say the things we want them to hear. We are also being as diligent as we possibly can to monitor our health, to listen to and observe our bodies, these Earth suits, so that we don't leave before we should. I want to see my grand children's children...and be there for them.

-Someone I love,  more than anyone else, was diagnosed with a wee little health concern. Consequently we have made some dietary changes. We were eating pretty well before but need to be even more diligent. We are learning to enjoy Mediterranean food, which includes Greek cuisine. I like this change. We are never too old to learn new things and appreciate different cultural expressions.It's fun to find new restaurants and learn to cook in different ways. I hope it helps. He's losing weight rapidly. Me? Not so much!

-We have the distinct honor and pleasure of hosting visiting dignitaries in two weeks. A family friend of our son-in -law, Colonel of the Army in a certain faraway country, will be visiting with his wife and staying with us. I'm a little bit concerned about meeting their needs and showing them a real Texas sized good time but we will all work together to do our bests. Maybe a great post will come of that.

-Housework, laundry, ironing and cooking still don't get done all by themselves.