Of Pies and People

I might have mentioned once or twice that we really want to be more missional, reach out and get to know our neighbors and yes, ultimately share the good news of Christ with them. How to do that has been something of a mystery. Last week a woman at church mentioned that the holidays are a great time to be more active in our connection to our neighbors as it is just more natural at this time of year. We agree. In fact, we had already decided not to wait until Christmas but to get a head start by taking some initiative at Thanksgiving. Here's a glimpse of what took place in my kitchen yesterday...

We baked pumpkin pies for our five nearest neighbors. We decorated each one and added a card sharing how grateful we are for our neighbors. We had been thinking and praying about this for several weeks. It was a first step, a way to actually meet some of the folks who routinely drive into their garage, bring down the door and disappear inside until they need to venture out again. We prayed over each pie...I know, that sounds pretty corny, but we wanted this to mean something and knew that on our own it would just be food. We hoped to find each neighbor at home. We had only a small window of time to deliver them before the hubs had to go back on twelve hour shifts and we wanted to do it together. We also did not want five extra pies for our own small Thanksgiving celebration!

All five neighbors were at home which is pretty miraculous in and of itself. We were on a roll at the first two houses. Both are home to young families with little ones. They were delighted for any help with their cooking chores and received the pies with gratitude. It's always pretty easy to make pleasant conversation about someone's children. The third house, a neighbor we have actually spoken to on several occasions, was a different story altogether. Oh, they received us warmly enough, just in a very different way. We were ushered into their home, commanded to sit and they began to serve us...coffee, toast, ethnic foods from their home in Pakistan. We enjoyed a cake with herbs baked in along with a very hot red sauce as well as sweet orange rice. What a feast! They did not eat but watched us as we did. I tried hard to recall everything I knew about the customs of these fine folks. Suddenly, I remembered that I still had my shoes on! Never mind they were boots that zip to the knee! I still felt I should take them off. No worries, they said, guests need not do that. Then they began to tell us about their spiritual leader, their beliefs and customs. I wondered if they did so because the perceived that was the purpose of our gift and visit. Were they wrong? Not entirely but we had intended more "get to know you" time before we jumped right to religious beliefs. Well, now we know that they are Muslim. We were given information about how to learn more about their faith and we went right home and checked it out. This undertaking just took on a completely new aspect. Sharing my faith with regular ol' unchurched people is one thing (not that I can make any claims for having done even that!) but I was not exactly prepared for this new twist. God, on the other hand, was not taken by surprise in the least. After researching their particular sect of Islam, I'm fairly certain they are not extremists and that I am in no danger. I am, in fact, fascinated and more than interested in continuing our dialogue.

Our Kenyan neighbors, who greeted us warmly with hugs, received their pie and visit with enthusiasm. They will have a houseful on Thanksgiving and were grateful for the expression and the pie. Our newest neighbor, very northern, was also sweet and we should find an open door there when we return. All in all this was a very successful endeavor, hopefully the first of many. I was nervous, then frightened a little bit, and finally excited that God, in His infinite wisdom, chose to use simple people like us to reach others. I'm not sure if pies have a thing in the world to do with sharing the gospel but it seemed a good plan to me. Jesus did, after all, often use food to begin relationship with people. Food I can do...it's the rest I need a little help with. Thankful for first steps.



Drift

Yesterday I attended orientation for a new volunteer position I'm going to fill at a hospital near my home. I was not particularly enthused about going. Not because I do not want to volunteer but because this orientation is the same one used to familiarize new hires with their new position...the ones they landed and for which they will receive a salary and benefits. I, on the other hand, sat through an entire day of fascinating stuff and will garner only a lovely lemon yellow smock to distinguish me from other folks at said hospital. I will admit, I had a great time, learned a lot and was only more inspired and encouraged to seek employment in a setting like theirs.

I decided early on to take everything I could from this long day of listening. I saw videos of one of the hospitals where my son in health care got his start. I listened to people whose names were familiar and somehow felt just a little less lonely knowing someone I love had been there before me. I met nice people from every department of the hospital. Enjoyed both breakfast and lunch catered by the hospital and came home with a spiffy new tote bag, bearing the name and logo of the hospital. I also learned a great deal about safety, corporate compliance and the Joint Commission. One thing that stood out to me as a particularly professional executive spoke about standards, who sets them, how they are maintained ad infinitum was the concept of "drift." She explained that standards are great, accountability is also great but even in the very best systems, if no one is watching, something called drift happens. That's when gradual, almost imperceptible deviations from the standard take place. We have all witnessed this in one way or another. The truth is, things left to themselves degrade, they do not naturally improve. When I stop paying close attention to what and how much I eat or how often I exercise, slowly (or maybe not so slowly) my weight creeps up. If I neglect my budget and step outside of those boundaries we have agreed upon as a couple, even just a little, before long, I am way off my goal. In the hospital or clinic setting this can negatively impact patient care. At home I can become fat and poor. Other areas of life are influenced by the drift principle as well. If I routinely accumulate stuff I don't need, before too long my home is once again cluttered and I am overwhelmed with, well, stuff. If I neglect to spend adequate time developing and maintaining relationships, all kinds of them, whether it is the one I enjoy with my husband, my God, my children or my friends, I will see the effect of drift. As I survey the future, I am renewed in my decision to avoid drift. How funny that God can use even something as ordinary as an orientation for a volunteer position to speak to the heart. I'm glad I went.

Thirty Years Ago

On this day, thirty years ago, my life completely changed. How I invested my time, my money, the affections of my heart and the thoughts of my mind would never be the same. My priorities, my goals and my dreams were all forever altered, for on that day, I became a mother. Shortly after noon on November 12, 1980, a perfectly precious little boy was placed in my arms for the very first time. He stayed right there (except for the occasional bath and weigh in) for the next thirty six hours until a wise nurse finally convinced me to let him stay in the nursery for just a bit so I could sleep. I spent those hours studying every detail of his face, just taking it all in. Newborns have a very special scent...they smell, well, warm. I marvelled at his wispy hair, his sweet lips, his perfect little fingers and toes. I was absolutely smitten. So much so, in fact, that five more precious bundles would come along over the next ten years.

I was as prepared for labor as I could be and I was blessed to have easy, relatively pain free deliveries. I've actually had headaches worse than childbirth. I have been told, however, by someone who was there, that I did threaten to get up and leave because I was just "done" and had changed my mind about this whole baby thing. Not to worry, I did, in fact, go the distance. (I might have threatened that a few times over the ensuing thirty years as well...just sayin'.)

What came afterward, however, was a complete surprise. I had no prior experience with babies. I had no clue what to expect once the real work of motherhood began. Diapers, sleepless nights, spit up and everything else associated with new babies soon gave way to toddlers, potty training and before long, learning to read, and so on and so on, times six. I was completely unprepared for the all encompassing nature of motherhood. I didn't know how much work it would be, and I don't just mean changing diapers and cleaning up. I was not at all prepared for the real world of motherhood.

I didn't know...

-that I could love someone so much. I still haven't gotten over that.

-that I could be so selfish and angry over things like interrupted sleep. I got over that part, mostly.

-that I could find such joy in little things like first steps, new words, sticky kisses, a warm, clean, just out of the bath kid wrapped in a towel, baking cookies, learning to read and ride a bike, birthday parties and all the other day to day parts of childhood.

-just how many diapers I would change, messes I would clean up, meals I would prepare, loads of laundry I would wash. That I would attend so many dance recitals, football and basketball games, track meets, vocal performances and coffeehouse gigs...not so much of that anymore.

-that I would feel every pain and disappointment and share every joy along the way...that hasn't changed much either.

-that I could pray so hard, so often and so relentlessly.

-that a God-centered family is better than a child-centered one and that it's not about me...I'm glad we learned this earlier rather than later.

-that there was abundant grace for my mistakes and the hard places along the way...turns out God is way bigger than I thought when this journey first began.

-that no matter how hard I tried or how much I wanted it to be otherwise, some of my children would make some choices I might be sad about...it seems I am way smaller than I thought when this journey first began.

-that emotionally tired is really harder than physically tired. Still so true.

-that motherhood is not an equal sort of thing. My children will never be as devoted to me as I have been and still am to them. It is what it is...by the time they are really old enough to "get it" they are married and probably caring for children of their own.

-that I would learn so much about our great God through this endeavor and that by being a mother I would become a better child.

-that the sense of accomplishment and satisfaction found in this job is rivaled by nothing else I've ever done or will do. It is my Magnum Opus.

Thirty years. Where ever did they go?

Bits and Pieces, This and That...

No, I did not fall off the face of the earth. I just got a little busy and life crowded in. So in no particular order here are a few events and observations taken from the last week or so.

-My sweet hubby and I are determined to keep having fun. To that end we carved some pretty awesome pumpkins, if I do say so myself. And we might have used power tools...and one seriously rockin' X-acto knife set.



-The job hunt continues...did not get any of the ones I had applied for in October. In fact got two rejection notices within five minutes of each other. But I'm not bitter! I just keep applying, and praying, and hoping, and reminding myself that I have everything I need and God is never late. My job hunting children have had much greater success and for that I am very grateful. One got her dream job, another got a second job and a third just got a job that will pay the bills. I have a few more applications out, one of which has actually moved beyond the 'applied' status to 'routed', whatever that means. To me it means it did not go directly to the trash but made at least one stop. What a journey this has been.

-I LOVE fall. I love the cooler weather. I love the holidays and the food and the decorations. I love the emphasis on being thankful. I love that most of us have some time off to enjoy one another. I also met my husband in the fall and had my very first baby (and second!) in the fall. It is just my favorite season ever.

-On this day twenty-eight years ago we welcomed that second son, a rootin' tootin', rambunctious, bundle of strong-willed fun. Never a dull moment then, and pretty much the same today. Our lives have been forever changed in the very best way for having him. Happy Birthday, Son!

-The church search has been a wonderful success. Some things in life just take a little perseverance. We found a great congregation about five minutes from home. They actually consider our neighborhood, the one we have a heart for, the one with whom we want to share Jesus, to be part of their sphere of influence. Turns out there is another couple right here who has the same desire to reach out as we do. We will be meeting them soon and hope to partner with them in this endeavor. The church welcomes older folks like us and there seems to be much we can do. We are encouraged on so many levels and maybe just a little nervous. Making new friends can be hard.

- We are going to be grandparents! Gigi and Pops (our self-selected grandparent names) will welcome a new little one in May. Congratulations to oldest son and his wife.

-Mothering adult children is a mixed bag. Not unlike roses, there is plenty of lovely with the occasional thorn. 'Nuf said...