The More Things Change, The More They Remain The Same

Change. Life is full of it. About the time we get comfortable with things one way, they change. Now is no exception for me. All of my kids are grown (or nearly so) and the second half is stretched out before me just waiting to unfold. Then why do I feel clueless as to what that is going to look like or what the next step might be?

I've been seeking God on a number of issues lately. What should I be investing my time and energies in? Are we in the right church? The right ministry? What about a job? I thought I was on the right path in each of these quests only to feel fruitless in my search in all of them. I wrote about the job search, how demoralizing it can be. I wrote about the discouraging meeting we had with a local pastor about how we could serve in his congregation. Since then we have had a wonderful meeting with another young pastor and have a little clearer picture of where to step next. On the job front, however, discouragement is still the key word. Some days it feels like two steps forward, three steps back! I sure would like to know what I should be doing.

I have the privilege, what with six children and all, to receive quite a bit of advice about this season of life. It seems they are all pretty invested in what I choose to do. I like that. Yesterday one of those offspring took the time to talk to me at length about my searching, all of it, not just the job part. He is uniquely qualified to speak to the employment side of things but completely gets that this is not just about a paycheck or benefits package. This is about calling, service and being a good steward of my time and resources. He is also really good at the employment thing because of his own journey. While he is now something of an expert on the subject of employment, he suffered through, like lots of folks these days, months and months of unemployment, followed by underemployment and has endured bad employment as well. Now, he is responsible for employing others in a very large hospital system. He takes it seriously and considers it a calling. He can tell me what to do and what not to do in this arena and I am grateful. After giving me plenty of pointers about specific jobs that might be a good fit, application and resume tips and lots of encouragement, he asked a really pointed question that helped bring the messy of all this into focus. "Mom," he queried "can you remember times throughout your years as a full time mother that you were unsure of what the next step was, areas of uncertainty in your work and life as Mom?" Of course I could. The whole mother thing was one big ball of uncertainly, and plenty of other stages, phases and choices along the way were challenging in that regard as well. "How did you navigate those?" he asked. I had to think back a bit but I remembered reading a great deal. I didn't read just anything. I know not everything in print is sacred or even worthwhile. I carefully chose wise teachers. I asked trusted people in my life for their adivce and perspective. Of course, I prayed...a lot! Usually the path became clearer in degrees, not one bright light. Little things would fall into place making it easier to see what the next step should be. A word here, an opportunity there and before long I had moved into whatever that important place was without too much difficulty. Everything from sleep issues to potty training, how we disciplined and educated our children, dating and teenage issues, college, sending them off as adults and even now, as we face an empty nest have all happened like that. No bolt of light, just step by step, gleaning information, praying, venturing out a little more and the picture became clearer. That wise son reminded me that this season will probably unfold in much the same way. I have been reading. I choose to read wise authors who have been down this road at least a little farther than I have or who have some level of wisdom I do not. I ask people who have made this transition without damaging their families or dishonoring God in the process. I pray...a lot! I try things. I apply for jobs that look like the right fit. I did some volunteering in one setting and now I am, at Son's suggestion, going to volunteer in the place where I hope to eventually be employed. He reminded me that there are two good considerations when seeking the right fit in a place of employment. First, do I feel cared for? Second, can I make a difference here? Hmmmm, I had not been thinking that way. Volunteering should allow me to get a read on that before making a long term comittment.

I suppose this season is really not that different from any other when it comes to seeking and finding God's will and direction. He hasn't changed at all. He still has "good works" for me to do. He is still in control. What has changed, for me at least, is that my children are now sources of wisdom and knowledge in this search. They are no longer just the objects of my care and searching, they are caring for and searching with me. What a joy!